vow days and wow days
Before Kyle and I got married, our minds were filled to capacity with wedding plans, moving, and trying to navigate what our future as a married couple would look like. If you’re married and you’ve planned a wedding, you know what I’m talking about. Your mind is on overdrive. It’s an exciting season, but also a time of stress, confusion and chaos. Receiving any kind of marriage advice during this time feels like trying to fit into skinny jeans right after Thanksgiving dinner. Too much.
But in the midst of wedding chaos, I received a piece of marriage wisdom that stuck.
Throughout marriage, you are going to have vow days and you are going to have wow days. Great marriages express gratitude for both.
Vow days are the tough ones; the days you are boiled up with anger, frustration and hurt toward your spouse. These are the days you feel depleted and empty, tired, and ready for the day to end. You feel out of rhythm. Vow days are the days you’ll lay in bed with your backs to each other, wondering which one of you is going to speak first. The anger doesn’t feel good. The bitterness hardens your heart, and the arguments stir emotions nobody enjoys dealing with, but you stay because you’re committed. You stay because you believe in love, and you remember the vow you made to your spouse. Vow days are the ones that grow your marriage, and ultimately, your faith.
Wow days are the honeymoon days; the days dreams are made of. Your spouse might as well have glowing angel wings on wow days. Wow days can happen on vacations, in cozy hotel rooms, at romantic dinners or during a relaxing night at home with a bottle of wine and a record player on. Wow days remind you why God created marriage; to display His glory. They spark laughter, heartwarming joy, and breed hope for more to come.
Ultimately, you can cling to the joy of wow days when the vow days make you want to quit.
Expressing gratitude for both types of days is where faith comes in. Your vow days will grow your marriage if you let them, just like any other challenge or trial can progress your faith. God might use the most disheartening circumstances to make your marriage better, stronger and more Godly. We can be grateful in our pain. Your wow days remind you that God’s love is always near; a gift we can receive with joy.
If you’re single, how can you use this advice to help prepare you for your potential future marriage?
If you’re married, feel free to use this post as a talking point with your spouse. What have you learned from your vow days? Take time to reflect on the joy of your wow days as well.